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The Chicken Soup Party

Ahead of the approaching midterm elections on November 2nd, I am announcing hereby the formation of a new political party: The Chicken Soup Party. Below, not necessarily in order of importance, are the ten founding principles that would guide the new party:

1. “That which is hateful to you,” said Rabbi Hillel, “do not do to your fellow.” So love and respect your fellow human beings, even those who hold opposite political beliefs. In the long run, it’s the only way to defeat them.

2. You acknowledge that the most crucial problem our world is facing—the cause of all other problems—is overpopulation. You therefore support a woman’s right to choose, object and reject.

3. The second most crucial problem facing us is nuclear terrorism, and nuclear proliferation. You pledge to support the Global Zero initiative to rid the world of nuclear weapons—before they get rid of us.

4. The sole purpose of a gun—any size, any make, any shape—is to kill, whether humans or animals. You hereby swear to never use one (unless you’re in the Armed Forces, Police, etc).

5. Constructive criticism of America, and Israel, is not only welcomed but recommended; it means you truly love your country and care for its future—you are not just a devoted fool.

6. The Death Penalty is barbaric, immoral, erroneous, racist, unethical, unsustainable and unreasonable. It should be abolished—especially here in America, the only Western country that still executes people.

7. There are necessary wars—just wars if you will—that must be fought; there are unnecessary wars—wars of choice—that must not be fought. So make peace, not war; make love, not hate.

8. If you believe in god—good for you; if you are married to the opposite sex—good for you; but it’s wrong of you to try to enforce your way of life on others. Live and let live, and most of all—be a person of reason.

9. Nature—above all else, and until proven otherwise—is the source of all life on earth, and the most wondrous thing in existence. You pledge to preserve and sustain it. Go green, go digital—save the trees.

10. “A person needs to cross a very narrow bridge,” said Rabbi Nachman, “but the most important thing is not to be afraid.” So don’t be afraid, speak up; in short, don’t be a chicken—or you’ll end up in the soup.

Last but not least: once a week have yourself a bowl of hot chicken soup. It will clear your mind, strengthen your heart, and make you a better person.

If you want to join the new party send me a line, including your name and email address. If you want to add, contest, or change any of the guiding principles, let me know as well.

Hillel Damron


3 Responses

  1. And don’t forget to read A 4th Course of Chicken Soup for the Soul– a really touching book!

  2. It looks like Scott is not going to join. Maybe that’s good. He didn’t read what you wrote and he sounds a bit,,,,,,,,,intense. And you my friend, I know how you feel about G-d. And here I was going to join until I saw your disrespectful spelliing. Bad boy,,,,,,,, But I could change my mind if the soup was free.

  3. Hey, did you hear of the Second Amendment? I’m allowed to own a gun in this country, thanks God, and use it if I need to. And as for hunting, man, it’s an American as apple pie.

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