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‘Deal of the Century’ Revealed!


BREAKING NEWS: You are about to learn the details—minus necessary redactions here and there—of President Trump and peace-negotiator-in-chief Jerad Kushner (with the blessing of the architect behind the scenes, PM Benjamin Netanyahu), long-in-the-making peace plan for solving—once and for all!—the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

How did I get hold of it, you ask? Ah, well… you know me, I can’t lie. And the truth is, I woke up one morning this last week from unsettling dreams (to paraphrase Kafka’s ‘Metamorphosis’), and found myself in bed changed into an enlightened man. And in my head, lo and behold, was the entire plan. The whole deal, people, plain and simple.

I got out of bed and stumbled onto my computer and hit the keyboard full-forced, as my mind was obsessed with telling you all about it. But wait, I have some military-experience, some security-service background too, and even without anybody telling me what to do, I decided—‘conscientious’ is my middle name—to do some extra work on the document and give you just the summary, redacted here and there for security reasons, in order not to jeopardize the successful negotiation and implementation of the plan.

Enough talking. Here it is then, point-by-point, starting with what NOT in the plan. First—there will NOT be a Palestinian state. Second—East Jerusalem will NOT be the capital of a future Palestinian state. Third—there will NOT be a right-of-return for the Palestinian People (even those born in old Palestine, now Israel—but all Jews, wherever they are born, will continue to have the-right-of return throughout the land, from the river to the sea.) Fourth—the new Palestinian entity will NOT have an army. Fifth—the Palestinians will NOT have an uncontrolled, free-flowing land connection between the West Bank and the Gaza Strip.

Now to what the Palestinians WILL have. On the outskirts of Jerusalem, they WILL have the Abu Dis village as their capital (if they really need it, since they won’t have an independent state anyhow, and might as well stay in Ramallah). They WILL have a full autonomy in the places—areas, towns, villages—which are currently under their control. They WILL have a huge, tremendous—the biggest ever!—financial and economic aid from the United States, Israel and Saudi Arabia. And to top it all, they WILL be allowed to breathe freely—no taxes at all!—the clear, Biblical Judean Hills air, and to work, marry, even have sexual intercourse as much as they wish, and have children who will grow up in their beautiful—controlled albeit by Israel—Autonomy Plus.

As for Israel: Not a single settlement and not a single settler, WILL be evacuated from what used to be called—very wrongly!—the “Occupied Territories.” All these areas, the roads leading to them and the walls protecting them, WILL be annexed to Israel proper, and WILL be known from now on (in this document and elsewhere) as “Judea and Samaria.” Israel WILL have the entire, undivided, eternal Jerusalem as its capital (granting free access to the Holy sites, regardless of religion). Israel WILL continue to have its security-services and army-forces patrolling and controlling the Palestinian-territories (whatever they wish to call it). Needless to say, Israel WILL continue its presence and control of the Jordan Valley, safeguarding its eastern front.

Addendum to this summery. Hostility: Must cease and desist between the two parties; any violation WILL render this agreement null. Armed Forces: The Palestinian Autonomy WILL have no army, as stated, other than police; the Israeli State WILL continue to develop and extend its army as needed, including as many nuclear warheads it deems necessary (under this agreement, Israel WILL never again be asked to join the ‘Non-Proliferation Treaty’.) Traveling: The Palestinian People WILL travel freely between their towns and villages, but WILL need special permits to travel to Israel or abroad, and WILL continue to pass through check-points. Israel WILL maintain control of sea, land, and air. However, under a special arrangement with the liberal city of Tel Aviv, the Palestinian People WILL be able to freely enjoy the beaches of the Mediterranean Sea, and even to look longingly at Jaffa, where their ancestors had used to live before the war of 1948.

Lastly: By signing this peace-deal, the parties accept it wholly without reservations. As reward for the Palestinian Authority choosing corporation over corruption, Israel WILL host a celebratory soccer match between the parties in the near future. Likewise, the great President Trump—best leader ever!—WILL host the leaders of the two parties in the White House for an elaborate signing ceremony, with Roseanne Barr as MC, with a grand party to follow at the Trump Hotel, financed entirely by MbS, the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia, with Vladimir Putin in attendance.

THIS JUST IN: Israel, the Jewish State, has agreed already to sign this deal. Palestine, the Arab Autonomy, hasn’t done so yet. My “sources” at the administration are telling me that they can surrender and sign it, or commit suicide. Entirely up to them.

* The ‘Leave a Comment’ link is the last tag below, in blue.


The Scoop: Why Trump & Netanyahu are Bent on Destroying our Democracies


Our democracies, both in America and in Israel, are facing a real and present danger. It’s no joke, my friends: so much so that lately in some “respectable” media outlets, commentators and politicians were discussing seriously—I repeat: seriously!—the possibility that should trump lose the 2020 Presidential Election, not only he won’t relinquish his hold on power willingly, peacefully and democratically, but will unleash on us a new Civil War. Laugh to your heart content, but one such esteemed politician urged viewers on Fox TV to start arming themselves.

In Israel, meanwhile, the situation is somewhat different (though not as different as one might think). The notion and possibility of “Wars of the Jews” have been circulated in the open for a long time. Now though, the acuteness of such a possibility in becoming a reality has been upgraded by the approaching elections. And, if not a threat of civil war yet, at least a real danger to the survival of Israel’s democracy.

Now, you may challenge me on the validity of the word “scoop” in the title, but I challenge you to wait until you read the article to its end. Then judge its accuracy. Also, take in consideration the larger definition of the word scoop. I mean not only as a piece of breaking news nobody else broke before, but examining also the new take on the old news in the larger sense. And on that I truly believe I have something new to tell you, regarding the cause of the real danger to our democracies.

To begin with: Politicians and commentators alike are referring to Trump’s fight for survival, and especially to Netanyahu’s fight for survival, as though they were fighting for their “political lives.” Numerous articles have been written about that. But not so, I say: They are fighting for their “lives!” Pure and simple. Let me explain, starting with trump, simply because my concern today is more with Netanyahu, so I’ll dispose of the Trump argument as quick as possible.

It is well known and extensively documented that Trump’s legal challenges and difficulties have not started after he was elected president, but long before. According to an entry in Wikipedia, “… an analysis by ‘USA Today’ published in June 2016 found that over the previous three decades United States president Donald Trump and his businesses have been involved in 3,500 legal cases in U.S. federal courts and state court, an unprecedented number for a U.S. presidential candidate.”

Add to that the legal issues, maybe crimes even, we still don’t know about, like what might be found in his tax returns. I personally believe that the reason he’d decided to run and become president is in fact to protect himself from his mounting legal problems. He was corrupted much before, throughout his business life; it wasn’t that power has corrupted him while he’s in office. Just look at all his cronies that had surrounded him for a long time, and are now going to jail. Simply put: He decided to be the president in order to stay out of jail.

As for Netanyahu, the situation is somewhat different, yet still the same at the end. I don’t believe he was corrupted, certainly not in any legal sense, before he was elected Prime Minister, which is now more than 10 years on. His is really a case of power corrupts. As to his mounting legal challenges, and his expected indictment by Israel’s attorney general on three charges of “fraud and breach of trust,” including one on bribery, I won’t go into it now because so much has been written about it already, and because I will be speaking about it soon at congregation Bet Haverim in Davis, April 3rd 7pm. My talk would be centered on the coming Israeli elections and Israel’s fight for democracy.

In Netanyahu’s case, as many observers have pointed out, he’s clearly fighting for his political life. And now, supposedly, he’s facing his gravest challenge yet. Not so, I say. First, as for his political life, he’s been Prime Minister for a long time. Almost as long as David Ben-Gurion. The way I see it, he’s fighting for his life! You see, if he loses this elections—it’s now seemed a possibility, at least—he not only will lose his political power, and might resign finally as the leader of the Likud Party, but he’s sure going on trial for the above mentioned 3 indictments. The likelihood of him, as recent history in Israel had surely taught him, ending up in prison is very real. Destroying not only his legacy, but his life.

His only way of avoiding this, of surviving this, is winning the elections. And if not by winning outright, then still forming the next government. Which is a possibility. Should that to have happened, the first business on his agenda—which he would make clear to all the parties joining his coalition before forming the government–would be to pass in the Israeli Knesset these 3 laws: 1. A Prime Minister cannot be indicted and go on trial while he’s in office. 2. A Prime Minister cannot be investigated on crimes he may have committed while in office. 3. It will apply retroactively to him. Passing these laws, should he succeed, would secure his leadership and immunity from prosecution forever,

It will also mean that he will be forever above the low. So as long as he’s Prime Minister, he will be able to continue to commit crimes at will. And that, my friends, is the definition of a dictator. Which also means, in the broader sense, the end of democracy in Israel. These two leaders try to cover up their crimes and protect their lives, even if in the process they will destroy our way of life and our democracies.

* The ‘Leave a Comment’ link is the last tag below, in blue.

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